Biting My Tongue

Well.... I had a very strong biting my tongue moment recently. I am sure you know what I mean by biting your tongue. Holding back your opinion so that a loved one can feel free to express themselves... I know there is more to it than that but this is my definition for now. My Tobin. This guy is a character. Determined. Strong willed. Stubborn. Free of self doubt. Oh how I love that about him. He is very expressive. He knows exactly who he is and what he wants to do with his adult life. He tells strangers he is a marine biologist and it brings smiles to everyone. He cracks me up each and everyday and I love him and his brother more than life. 

For three months he asked if he could dye some of his hair blue. Being the fun, open-minded mama that I am I said "sure!". In my mind I was thinking... well I will give it time... he may not bring it up anymore. Wrong. He kept asking. Now his aunt Anne is a hairstylist. Offering her services to help Tobin out with his hair experiment. I knew it was gonna happen. He was going to get his hair dyed blue. Sigh. I think my children are so freakin gorgeous! The idea of his beautiful naturally copper colored hair being dyed blue!? But I bit my tongue. It's his hair. It's his idea of self expression. It's Tobin. I am only his mother. But I can tell you.... I don't like it. LOL. I love Tobin's hair in it's natural gob of copper shimmer. But I can live with it. And it's a ocean green blue and I know that makes him really happy. So that makes me very happy.

How cool is it to have an aunt that can make your hair dreams come true? 

So his hair is blue. He's five years old going on fifteen. At the zoo on Friday I must say many mother's would see him and then look at me like... "how could you?" hee hee. While other strangers would just say "cool hair" and Tobin would grin from ear to ear.

Comments

[Lorilee]

Wow MaryAnn. You have blue hair too! I can't wait to tell Tobin that the mama that makes the cool playscapes has hair just like his ;0) I am so happy you got yourself on a better track for yourself. YEAH.... darn it! Why in the world do we forget this? You and Gus must be so cool together, his bright orange and your blue... PHOTO! *please*

And thank you ladies so much. It makes my heart so full to hear you notice how we gently parent and we have never even met! Well... some of us... right Birdie? :)

Thank you so much for your lovely words.

[mary ann]

Tobin and I could start a ocean-blue hair club--as I have the same blue-green streaks in my own hair. What I love is that I got mine as a celebration of resigning from a job that held me away from my own connection to self-expression, and as a *reminder* to be my own self every day--Tobin's is simply an outward colorful sign to others that he is fully connected with himself, joyfully and playfully. I have to remind myself everyday to get to where Tobin is every minute, effortlessly. He is five going on wise, it seems to me. You are a deeply respectful and reverent mother, Lorilee, and I know when he looks delightedly in the mirror that he feels that respect and reverence all over again and will return it to others a hundred-fold. What good teachers you both are!

[Becky]

Yay for harmless self-expression and parents who support it!

[pink and green mama MaryLea]

I dig it!! I want blue hair too...I think you're a rock star mama to let him dye it : )

[rae]

so i know it must be a little heart wrenching as a mama to miss seeing those natural locks, but his hair looks so awesome!! that is so rad that you let him express himself like that! go mama!! ;)

[Lorilee]

Cindy thank you so much! Such kind words to see this morning.... your a beautiful mama too ;0)

[BOATBABY]

I am being honest here - I think it looks fabulous! I know it's not the natural state of things that a mama loves, but man those BLUE eyes with the BLUE hair are stunning! He's still a beautiful kid and you are a beautiful mama for respecting his wish!